We didn’t need Ariana Grande to tell us that God was a woman. It may not always feel like it, but we women are powerful centers for phenomenal change, and we are capable of anything we set our minds to.
Women give life in way more than a drag catwalk way, and we’re a pivotal part of society. Whether we want to be board topping CEO’s or happy stay at home moms, 2019 is showing up to be the year of the boss ass b*tch.
It can be easy to forget our power as women, though. We live in a society that is constantly telling us we aren’t good enough, or that we need to be something else, so it’s easy to get swallowed up and feel insecure.
No more! With these 21 basic habits, you’ll be tapped back in to your inner boss b*tch in no time. Don’t believe me? Give ’em a try. They’ll be calling you mother in no time.
The 21 Things All Boss Ass B*tches (Should) Do
1. Make no apologies.
Sorry, not sorry! As women, we are taught to apologize constantly. Tap into that inner b*tch and stand on your confidence more. Make a point not to apologize for every little thing you do (or don’t do.) Remain open to the feelings of others, but refuse to make way for them automatically. Take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize when it’s needed, but stay true to you. You should never be sorry for being yourself.
2. Be emotional.
For some reason, we seem to think that a true boss b*tch is a robot — void of emotion. That’s just not true. We have feelings and we have them for a reason. In many instances, our emotions can be our most powerful tool as women. You don’t have to freak out on everyone that crosses your path, but be honest with your feelings. Being strong doesn’t mean being devoid of feeling. Feel your feelings, analyze them and react as appropriate.
3. Go in hard, but always have a “no” in your back pocket.
Being a boss ass b*tch means knowing when to really lean in, but also being able to say “no” when you need to. Say yes to the challenges that will help you better yourself, but be prepared to take a step back when you need some space. Sometimes, the most positive thing you can do for everyone (yourself included, cause you’re important, girl!) is to give them a firm “no.”
4. Take care of yourself.
If you don’t take care of your inner and outer personal well-being the rest is pretty moot. Take charge of your choices, your worth, your body. If you’re not happy, take things into your own hands and make the changes you need to. Take care of yourself and a lot of the rest will fall into place.
5. Be confident in your singlehood.
You boo-ed up ladies, skip ahead. This is for my single sisters out there.
Don’t be worried about being alone. Being a single woman is one of the most empowering learning experiences you’ll ever get — and not everyone has the chance! You are great company, so take this time to learn to love yourself and your little quirks. Take time each day to remind yourself of all the things you love about your body and your mind. Revel in your alone time and the fact that you owe no one anything (including explanations) and your life and your time and your space are totally and completely your own!
6. Keep it covered.
Speaking still to the single ladies here, a boss ass b*tch always makes sure she’s prepared for that situation. You’ve only got one body and you need to take care of it (see #4) so when it comes down to the more intimate moment always make sure you’re prepared. If he pulls that “I’ve got no condoms” pull out some options for him. Don’t take no for an answer and don’t be afraid to walk away. Plenty of *little* fish in the sea anyway.
7. Be confident in the bedroom.
This is the place where all women can come together — single or married or in between.
Don’t be afraid to ask for exactly what you want in the bedroom. That means telling whoever is in your bed what your right spots are and how you want them to move. It means being frank and reveling in your pleasure — something we women aren’t usually taught to do. Take charge a little. Your partner and your love life will thank you.
8. Say “Bye, Felicia” to those fake friends.
There is no place in a boss ass b*tches life for flaky, inconsiderate or otherwise toxic friends. It’s never fun to lose friends, but think about how much more peaceful your life would be without their drama. Bad people are a distraction and they take away from our journey and our life experiences. So kick those Becky’s to the curb and cut the people out of your life that don’t respect you. Only when you get rid of the old can you make room for the new.
9. Be upfront in romance.
Stop beating around the bush when it comes to dating. Be honest and upfront about what you want and refuse to settle for less. You are a grown woman who has better things to do than decipher f*ck boy text messages for 2 hours. Tell that other person what you want right up front. If you want to be married in 5 years with a baby on the way — say that. If you never want to get married and want to see other people on the side — say that too. There’s no point in wasting your time and there’s definitely no point in wasting theirs. Be honest and stand up for what you want.
10. Be Eleanor Roosevelt.
For those that don’t get the reference, this is one of my favorite quotes of all time. It was coined by none other than the first lady herself (you guessed it) Eleanor Roosevelt.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
When you get together with your friends discuss the ideas that really get you going. Really revved up to get involved in that protest? Talk about that. Don’t discuss the people around you, show some respect. Discuss your dreams and ideas and stay away from the gossip. A boss ass b*tch doesn’t need that king of negativity in her life.
11. Werk, werk, werk, werk, werk, werk.
A true boss b*tch doesn’t look for handouts — she goes out there and works for it. Don’t sit around and do nothing. Take a little initiative and work hard to make a name for yourself. Build up that empire and achieve all the dreams. You’re the only one who can put yourself on top, but it’s going to take some work to get there.
12. You do you.
If you want to be the baddest b*tch on the block, then you’ll know that you don’t need to take down others just to feel good about yourself. A true badass is above that, and they know that people who resort to petty and catty behavior are just trying to prove something that they don’t even know themselves. Being immature won’t get you very far in life, and it sure as hell won’t make you a boss ass b*tch.
13. Buck tradition.
You don’t need to have it all in the traditional sense. True b*tches like what they like and they want what they want and they make no apologies for it. You don’t need to hear that umpteenth opinion on whether or not you should have kids — you don’t want ’em and that’s that. Be successful on your terms and your terms alone. Tradition can’t tell you sh*t.
14. Bow down before the crown.
True queens know that they rise by raising up others. If you want to be a true boss b*tch, then encourage the women around you to find their inner royalty too. Encourage them to find strength and offer them yours when they need a little help finding their own.
15. If you’re not first, you’re last.
Think about the bossest b*tches out there. Did they step aside quietly and let the people around them take what they wanted? No. True divas are going to do everything they can to be the best and the people around them? Well…they had better just stay the hell out of the way.
16. Listen to TLC’s advice.
All of us have dated awful people but to do it consistently is madness. Every sh*thead teaches us a lesson or two that we can carry on, but you have to carry that lesson forward or it’s worthless. Stop falling for the same abuser traps and look for men who don’t meet the criteria that got you hurt before. If he screams at your from the passenger side of his best friend’s ride — run the other way.
17. F*ck the haters.
I like to look at haters as one thing and one thing only: inspiration. Do well. Be your best self. It will piss them off better and quicker than anything else you could ever do.
18. Your words can never hurt me.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. Words hurt like hell, but to be a boss b*tch doesn’t let them bring her down or stop her on her path to success. What can they possibly say that you haven’t heard before? That you’re a b*tch? Give them a smile and thank them. That’s one of the best possible things they could say because it means you’re doing something right.
19. Be self-made.
Don’t aim to “marry up” or rely on a partner for the life you want to build. Build that dream yourself and make sure that it’s beholden to no one but you. Make them want to marry up through you, not the other way around. Take control of your destiny or someone else will and it won’t be pretty.
20. Know how beautiful you are.
You don’t need 20 filters to feel beautiful when you’re a boss b*tch. It doesn’t matter if you’re Beyonce or not, real divas know how beautiful they are on the inside and the outside and they make no apologies for it. Love every inch of yourself and it will love you back.
21. Know you aren’t always going to be a boss ass b*tch.
Being a boss ass b*tch also means knowing that won’t always be that boss ass b*tch.
Life is full of ups and downs and change. Sometimes, you’re going to feel wonderful and confident and in control. Other times, things are going to get you down and have you feeling out of whack. Embrace the highs with the lows and know that you aren’t always going to feel like the amazing and confident goddess that you are. That’s okay, just remember to take care of yourself and above all love yourself until that boss b*tch returns.
Putting it all together…
So this one is for all my boss ass b*tches out there. Whether you do it in stilettos like Ms. Minaj or you do it in sweatpants from the comfort of your own home — you’re a boss ass b*ch. Be strong. Stick up for yourself and your dreams. Make a life that you can be proud of and refuse to make apologies for who you are and what you want. Buck tradition. Climb that mountain. Burn the world down and make a whole new one in your image. Go out there and be a boss b*tch, girl. The world needs you.