Lifestyle

Ready to stop being average and start being great? Get the life you want with these simple tweaks.

Check out the original version of this article on Medium.

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” — Plutarch

Fact: a better life begins with better thinking.

Life is full of choices and the only way to make better choices is to tweak the way you think. We get told over and over again that what we think is what we create. Even Henry Ford is known to have told a breathlessly waiting audience “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”

Your life is what you make of it. If you begin to think of yourself as exceptional, rather than average, you will be. 

If you want to improve your life, think exceptionally.

Living an average life is just what happens when you’re imprisoned by average, low-level thinking. This type of thinking is fear-based and irrational, stoked by emotional blockages from our pasts and negative routines which are reaffirmed by our chaotic, “get it now” lifestyles.

Getting trapped in this type of thinking will trap you in a life of the mediocre, making mediocre choices that just reinforce the depressing averageness of your life.

white printer paper

If you want to be exceptional, you have to think exceptionally. Not only of yourself, but also of your life and actions in general.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Eleanor Roosevelt. “She once said,Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

This is true. Most people get caught up in a cycle of thinking that is based around negativity or negative experiences. Their thoughts are subpar and, as a result, they have subpar results in life. To become your best self, you’re going to have to start thinking positively.

Even the world’s most successful people engage in positive thinking and visualization. “You cannot hand around negative people and expect to live a positive life,” entrepreneur Darren Hardy once said. Positive thinking is the same. Negative thoughts choke your decision making abilities and create an aura of negativity in your life than really choke out true success.

The law of attraction isn’t just for lovers.

You’re going to attract into your life what you put put out into the universe. What you focus on is magnified in your life tenfold.

Take for instance being single.

I spent five years as a single female (a very fun experience, I can tell you.) For a number of those years, I lamented over my singledom, not understanding what major personality defect it was that I had. After year after year of disappointment, I finally gave up, choosing to focus on a career and the major life goals I had for myself.

Fast forward to almost a decade later. I’m in a happily committed relationship with a man that compliments me in every way. He supports me in everything. He’s ambitious, driven, and exceptional.

I was able to attract an exceptional man because I was able to transform my life and my thinking exceptionally.

This law of attraction is not just for lovers. If you want to land something amazing, you need to be amazing to attract it. By becoming the best version of yourself, you’ll attract more people like you and more opportunities too.

Break the pattern. Notice the details.

We get stuck in negative patterns that reinforce our negative beliefs and it can be hard to break free. Our cycles are comforting and change throws us off balance. Learn to notice these negative patterns and formulate a plan to fight them.

Shift your focus toward something more positive. Find a way to distract yourself. Forcefully turn your thoughts away from the negative and turn them to the most positive recent memory you have. Work to exhibit the positive traits that you see in friends, family and leaders around you.

You’ve got to get to the root of your negative thinking, though. By addressing your emotional baggage, you can get to the bottom of the problem and change the way your mind actually works.

Stop reacting and start thinking.

Our lives are full of reactionary thinking. We wake up and grab our phones. The news enrages us or a post makes us anxious. We see emails and messages, texts and voicemails. Our minds are buzzing before we even make breakfast.

Learn to master yourself. Being successful means learning to take a step back to assess the situations and the emotions and response they stoke from us.

Take charge of your own life. The lives we lead today are often designed around other people. The actions of others rule our lives and — powerless — we resort to reacting which leads down a negative path.

Commit to living an intentional, authentic life designed around you — not other people. Choose the direction you want to go in and commit to that direction wholeheartedly. When you lose sight of your happiness, you become prone to depression and self-doubt. When we don’t control our environments, they control us.

Ask yourself if someone else is dictating your thoughts and thinking. Are you modeling your negative patterns off of someone else in your life? Are you being your best self? Or someone else’s version of that? Sit down and take some time to formulate your long term goals. Be honest with yourself about what you want.

blue corded headphones

Inhale positivity. Exhale negativity.

One of the most brilliant pieces of advice I ever read was this:

“If your lifestyle does not add to your healing, it will subtract from it.” — Benjamin Foley

If you haven’t figured it out already, the key to having a more successful life is thinking positively and visualizing the life you want.

Forcefully changing your thinking in the moment and living a life that is designed by you are a great way to start. However, just changing the negative aspects of those two things is not enough.

For a truly positive transformation in your life you have to change all the negative aspects.

We binge on tv and numb ourselves with alcohol, food and worse. This is because we are trying to mask the negative things in our lives that are causing us discomfort or distress.

You will manifest in your life what you take into it. If you fill your head and your aura with negativity, you won’t get good results.

Transcend that negative thinking by surrounding yourself with positivity in all aspects of your life. Growth-oriented content will help you grow as a person. Create positive momentum in your life and use it to transform what you have now into the dream you’ve always wanted.

It’s time to change what you input into your life. Fill your tanks with high-quality fuel and you’ll get higher quality output.

The 4 Steps to Creating the Positive Future You Really Want

Get a jumpstart on manifesting your future with these 4 easy steps:

  1. Figure out what you actually desire.

    Sit down and figure out what it is you actually want from your life. Analyze your personal and professional goals and be honest with yourself. Set SMART goals to achieve your dreams.

    It’s important that these desires or dreams for your life are yours. They will often be the thing that continues to motivate you when things get tough. Change doesn’t happen overnight. There will be setbacks. Set goals that light a fire under you when you don’t have to power to stay strong on your own.

  2. Visualize what you — vividly.

    Visualize the lifestyle that you truly want. Try to imagine the career that you want, the house that you will have, the car that you will drive. Think big and think specific. The more you can see it, the more your mind will believe it.

  3. Believe, Believe, Believe.

    You’ve got the goals. There’s a plan in place. You can picture it clearly. What next?

    You have to believe in what you want and your reasons for wanting it. Taking yourself and your desires seriously (and believing in them) will allow you to feel confident. This will manifest in your actions, decisions and thoughts. Having the best life means believing you can have it.

  4. Embrace change with open arms.

    Change is hard. As humans we don’t embrace it as we should. Learn to embrace change and understand that it takes time and it’s difficult. Set backs are going to happen, but they aren’t the end of the world. Welcome them with open arms and understand that they are a chance to get creative and grow — not give up.

We must be consistent in our journey to create better lives for ourselves. By adopting these 4 simple habits we can cultivate new behaviors in our lives that allow us to not only think more positively but act more positively. Stop saying “I can’t do it,” and start telling yourself “I will do it.”

difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations desk decor

Putting it all together…

Negative thinking is average thinking. If you want to transcend a life of mediocrity, you need to radically change your thinking.

Our thoughts are the foundation to the world around us. What we think, we become. Analyze your actions, your choices and your behaviors for negativity. Be honest with yourself and correct them with a firm hand. Only by taking control of your own life and taking responsibility for your own thinking can you create any type of meaningful and long-term change.

Visualize the life you want. Picture it clearly in your mind and make sure that — no matter what — it is a future that is designed by you. Think big and think specific. The more detail you can imagine, the more you will believe in your dream.

Many never take the time to assess their thinking and change their patterns. Rise above the average and transform your life into something exceptional by raising your awareness and thinking. Don’t be happy staying subpar. Strive for something better for yourself and your future.

Attract what you want by becoming what you want. Input = output. Never forget it.


Get more great tips for increasing your happiness and positivity by following Lady Vivra.


1 thought on “Ready to stop being average and start being great? Get the life you want with these simple tweaks.”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.