This is why you're so miserable (it's not what you think)

This why you’re so miserable (it isn’t what you think)

While our Instagram profile might be stacked like a highlight reel, many of us are living and operating in completely miserable states.

Life is full of ups and downs and — though we claim we want to be happy — we often find ourselves chasing the things and the lifestyles that bring us down. We invite misery into our lives and then suffer in confused silence as everything tumbles down around us. This always happens to you. This only ever happens to you. Life hates you. Work hates you. Everything hates you.

Why does this happen? Why do we let ourselves get so stuck and why do we then seem to do so much hard work to keep ourselves unhappy?

The answer might surprise you.

Why Are We All so Miserable?

We as a species like to think that misery is the result of external consequences, but much of the misery in our lives comes from…you guessed it…ourselves.

Misery gets us attention.

We cling to misery because it’s comfortable and it’s a quick fix. When things are going bad (or even when they’re not) wallowing in misery can be a comfortable feeling.

Misery has a way of making people feel sorry for us, and that attention can feel insanely good if you’re struggling or just bored. We get a feeling of power when we see our emotional states impact other people, and this power can become addictive in a number of ways.

It numbs us to an uncomfortable reality.

Misery too has a way of numbing us to the reality of our day-to-day. When we’re miserable, we have no hope and when that happens we can’t be disappointed or disillusioned. Things don’t hurt as bad if we already expect them to suck.

This might seem like a clever way to approach things, but it’s not. It’s toxic and it leads to more problems for you in the long run.

Misery makes us feel important.

Being miserable and staying miserable is lazy, and it warps your world view. While you might feel wise or worldly because of your suffering, you’re actually self-sabotaging; projecting yourself as a burdened, tragic and shallow person in a world that already has more than enough of that going on.

Staying miserable takes a little effort and a lot of skill. While not every miserable person is the same, they all engage in a honed set of skills that go a long way in keeping them stuck, sad and unhappy.

These are the 14 habitual forms of self-sabotage that every miserable person loves to engage in.If you’re feeling down-in-the dumps, chances are you’re engaging in one of these habits (or two). Note them and learn them well; then use them to unlock the secret to your own happiness.

You don’t have to be miserable forever, but no one can make you feel better but you.

Continue reading on Medium.


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Anger and unhappiness are infectious. Learn how to maintain your inner peace in an increasingly crazy world. by: E.B. Johnson It seems like everywhere you look today, you’re staring into the face of anger. People are angry about traffic. People are angry about the weather.

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