Self-Improvement

Stop feeling guilty for feeling good

It can be hard to find moments of happiness in these uncertain times, but it can be even harder to hold onto those moments. The minute a modicum of happiness comes into our lives, many of us become plagued by guilt. I shouldn’t be feeling so good when everyone else is feeling so bad. This is completely self-defeating thinking, however, and a limited style of belief that will keep us from reaching an even deeper understanding of self.

Stop letting your guilt get in the way of your happiness. Learn how to let go of the ideas that you’re not allowed to feel joy, and access that authentic radiance that’s been waiting for you all along. We were not put here to struggle and we were not meant for a life of misery. We were meant to follow our passions, and through that pursuit find the things that can provide value to the world around us. Release your compulsive need to suffer and start thriving by getting out of the way of your own joy.

We’re facing difficult times, and it can be hard to find a glimmer of happiness in the swirling chaos. Even when you do manage to snag a moment of happines, it’s not always possible to hold onto it. It’s hard to feel good about yourself and your life right now — and that can be especially true if you’re a woman (who was taught that there’s something naughty or untoward in enjoying ourselves, our bodies and our lives too much) or just someone who lives in a society where personal wellbeing are generally considered the thing of fairy tales.

Because happiness can be so fleeting or so tricky to discover for ourselves, it’s important that we learn how to enjoy it, value it and use it when we need it most. There’s no point in feeling guilty when you’ve finally managed to make yourself feel good. There’s no point in denying yourself joy when that’s precisely what you’re meant to do.

Learning to let go of the guilt that plagues us when we’re happy starts with cultivating a greater understanding of the limiting beliefs that hold us back. Guilt is something generated internally, from our own warped sense of perspectives our outdated ideas. It comes rooted in the deep places of our memories and experiences, and it manifests itself in both our subconscious and conscious behaviors, decisions and lifestyle designs. Transcend the guilt that prevents you from reaching your greatest happiness by learning how you self-sabotage and deny yourself the things you deserve.

So why does happiness have the power to make us feel so guilty all the time? The truth is a little bit more nuanced than we may realize. From hard lessons on happiness learned in childhood, to self-sabotage, low self-esteem and emotional regression — there are many reasons we allow ourselves to get in the way of our own joy.

Childhood lessons

The lessons we learn in childhood become the cornerstones of who we are as adults. Among these lessons are those on happineses, and who and who should not hold that same happiness. If you saw your parents avoiding their own happiness — or were raised on lessons that self-sacrifice and misery are the only signs that you’re doing the right thing in life — it might lead you to deal with feelings of guilt and shame when you yourself achieve that happiness (on any plane).

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is one of the most common reasons we find ourselves dealing with feelings of guilt when we’re feeling good or happy. When you’re low on yourself or your worth, you consciously (or subconsciously) engage in behaviors or decisions that risk your ultimate happiness and wellbeing. (All in order to confirm your worst suspicions about yourself.) Overtime this eats away at our sense of self, and detonates our relationships, careers and even family ties.

Emotional regression

When our emotional state is in shambles, it warps the way we see ourselves and it warps the way we see our successes, our triumphs and even our failures. Existing in a broken emotional state leads to increased feelings of guilt and shame, and can also cause you to turn yourself away from opportunities and experiences that might otherwise provide joy.

Wrong social circles

Running around in the wrong social circles? One indication might be how you feel when you manage to score a modicum of happiness. How do your friends react when you’re excited or particularly joyful about something? Do they encourage that joy? Or do they shoot you down and find a way to bring you stumbling back down to reality? The people we surround ourselves with have a major bearing on how we choose to see ourselves and the world around us.

Misguided definitions

Misguided definitions of happiness has a lot to do with how we process that happiness once it’s within our grasp. Are you someone who thinks that happiness is based entirely on other people, or even material goods? You might be sorely surprised to find that holding such views leads to increased feelings of shame and guilt, as well as buckled hopes and expectations…

CONTINUE READING ON MEDIUM. 

Tags: