Relationships, Self-Improvement

Stop giving away your power

When our lives go spinning out of control, it’s often the result of a loss of personal power. Losing touch with our hopes, courage and confidence can go a long way in undermining our happiness. This occurs when we sacrifice pieces of ourselves in return for the validation of others — a risky process that always comes with more heartache than it’s worth.

The only validation in the world that matters is our own. We are the only ones who have the ability to find value and worth in ourselves and our lives. Placing this power in the hands of others will always destroy our sense of self and pull us away from the things which offer us fulfillment and joy. If you want to take back control of your life, stop giving your personal power away to other people. Only you can take it back and reclaim it as your own.

Giving away power is the worst you can thing to do.

Giving away your personal power is one of the worst things you can do in this life. We have to hold on tight to our personal power and use it to help us overcome the hardship and adversity that life throws our way. When we hand this power over to others, we give them the ability to manipulate our emotions and undermine our happiness in ways that hard to come back from.

Rather than giving up on those things which define us, we have to find the courage to stand strong beside our hopes and visions of the future. Seeking validation in others is a fool’s game, as we alone are fully capable of understanding our needs and the core experiences that will bring us fulfillment in this life.

Stop putting their opinions over your own and stop chasing their joy when you know it offers you no home. Instead of giving in to their guilt trips, or giving them the key to your emotions — discover the power in detaching and finding your own way forward into the future that you desire to build. No matter how much we love someone (or respect them) it does not mean that they have a right to dictate our lives. Take back your personal power and find a future that is authentically aligned with your needs.

Why we give our personal power to other people.

Giving our personal power away is a nuanced process, and one that happens over time. You don’t wake up one day and decide to give up on yourself. You give your power away out of fear and anxiety, or you have it taken from you by those who would use you for their own advantage.

Hardship and stress

Life is difficult, and it doesn’t seem to get easier as the days and years drag on. When the hardship and the stress become too much to bear, it can become tempting to hand the reins of power over to someone else in our lives. When we do this, we can blame them for our misery, and we can blame them for all the things we fail to secure for ourselves. It’s an easy out, but a miserable existence — and one that doesn’t lend itself to happy endings.

Eroded self-confidence

Self-confidence is important, and it helps us to safeguard our happiness and our wellbeing. When this self-confidence is eroded, however, we find ourselves dealing with subpar self-esteem that can cause us to believe we don’t have the ability to manage our own lives. Little-by-little, we give away our power and start to follow the whims, desires and directions of those around us. Our fulfillment evaporates, and so does our joy and hope in life.

Childhood trauma

Our childhoods form the baseline of our behaviors and relationships later in life, and this is especially true when it comes to the power dynamics we perpetuate and play out in our adult lives. If you were raised on examples of toxic power struggles, you might model these struggles later — giving your power up to subpar partners who are only there to take advantage of you, or get what they can from your abilities and skills.

General unhappiness

A common factor behind our need to sacrifice our power is general unhappiness. When you find yourself at the bottom of a hole looking up, you can long desperately for any quick rescue. The problem there, though, is that you’re then in debt (and forever beholden) to the person who exerted the effort to get you out of that hole. Rather than handing our personal power over to others, we have to learn to look to them for inspiration…then begin our own ascent.

Loss of self

When we lose ourselves, we lose sight of those experiences and actions which can give our lives meaning and purpose. Wandering rudderless, we can find ourselves becoming the victims of the other people’s “validation”. We take their ideas as gospel and start molding ourselves to fit their definition of what a “happy” life looks like. More often than not, we end up even more unhappy and lost for the trouble.

Signs you’re giving your personal power away.

Feeling lost, or as though you don’t know who you are or what you want anymore? You might give your personal power away, and these are the signs you might be missing…

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