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Mental Health, Psychology, Self

Your anger is taking over your life (and ruining it)

Anger is a complex emotion and one that can be uncomfortable or challenging to deal with. It’s understandable. Our anger comes from a deep place and its reactions can be swift and volatile. Until we learn how to identify and control this dramatic feeling, it can undermine our quality of life and even the quality of the relationships we build. Anger rules your life if you allow it to. The key to avoiding this is resolving it once and for all.

You don’t have to stay angry forever. You don’t have to keep pushing people away, or lashing out into drama when time things go wrong. You can learn to live alongside your emotions in harmony (anger included) and you can also learn to control yourself — even when someone gets the better edge. The only person who has control of your life and behaviors is you. Want to lead a happier, more peaceful future? Get committed to calming the anger within you.

Unchecked anger destroys our happiness.

Anger that goes unchecked is anger that can compound and get out of control. This anger destroys our happiness, pushes away our partners, and even takes a toll on our families and our careers. There is no part of your life that anger will not touch if you allow it. You have to start identifying your anger, and then you have to understand the reasons behind it so that you can move toward an authentic resolution that allows you some peace.

Are you living with stilted relationships? Does everything seem to frustrate you? Or have you come to believe that the entire world is out to get you? All of these feelings eat away at your self-worth and your self-esteem. They change your perception of self, and your perception of the world around you.

Anger — though it seeks to protect us — often drives away the things we need most in order to thrive. It puts up walls where there should be gateways and allows us to drive ourselves further and further away from the things that bring fulfillment and opportunity. We have to get our anger in check. And this happens by opening up to the reality of our situation, while also embracing the reasons behind our hurts and our frustrations. It’s time to get real. Are you ready? It’s a journey that requires both your commitment and your compassion.

Common signs that anger is ruling your life.

While we all experience our anger in different ways, it has a tendency in corrupting our happiness in very similar ways. From becoming socially isolated to building toxic romantic relationships — anger will unbutton every shred of joy you manage for yourself if you don’t learn to spot its effects in your everyday world.

Becoming isolated

Social isolation is one of the most common signs that you’re dealing with disruptive anger. This might come from constant outbursts that alienate your partners, your family, and even your coworkers. On the other end, it can result in internalized self-loathing that causes you to put up impenetrable walls. If you have a history of trauma, you may even to resent the world in general and harbor a general air of anger that makes you unpleasant to be around.

Increased stress levels

Anger increases the stress we feel, and this can lead to a number of physical and emotional problems. Physical breakdown is a common side effect of stress. You start to sleep less; you get more headaches, and you may even notice lowered immune function or increased aches and pains. What’s truly alarming, though, are the increased risks of both stroke and heart disease; two often-overlooked side-effects with potentially catastrophic results.

Poor decision making

Because anger causes so much stress and anxiety in our lives, it can have a direct effect on our decision-making skills. Anger is disruptive, and it clouds our judgement by forcing us to focus on negative aspects of our experience. So clouded, you’re unable to think rationally and without bias — which moves you to make poor decisions (or those which aren’t fully thought through).

Self-loathing

Believe it or not, unaddressed anger can result in increased self-loathing and feelings of anxiety and depression. Because anger is meant to protect us from perceived injury or wrong, it pushes us away from people. The more isolated we become, the more we begin to internalize our loneliness and our self-worth. As people trickle away, you may question what’s wrong with you. This compounds into further resentment and a self-fulfilling cycle that stimulates ideas of worthlessness and hopelessness.

Sickly social circles

While you may not become entirely isolated, your anger will definitely take a toll on your social circles in the worst possible ways. Angry people attract more angry people, and these social circles become festering cesspools of self-sustaining negatively. All clouded by your constant pain and rage, you keep one another from seeking true happiness. You may even discourage one another from taking action in the name of making yourselves better…

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